Be yourself, believe in yourself, and trust yourself.
These words have been said over and over again to me throughout my journey to where I am today. I found myself constantly repeating these words in my head every time I wanted to give up and quit. I found that saying I can't do something was easier than trying. That making an excuse of why I couldn't instead of finding out how I can was a quicker way to suppress my emotions. I trained my mind to accept defeat before I gave a fighting chance to fail. I wouldn't achieve anything if I continued on the road of self defeat.
Well that was the old me. Today, the new me, I P.U.S.H. (Persist Until Something Happens). I've learned over the last few years so much about myself that I didn't even know existed. For a while I forced my strength. When I wanted to quit, I would tell myself that was not an option. When I cried, I would wipe the tears as often as I needed and tell myself you can cry now but not forever, there is work to do. When I was told no, I persisted until I got a yes.
It took all of you to do that for me. Yeah, yeah I know. I should never depend on someone else's approval for happiness. I know this. I teach my children this. I speak it but for a very long time I didn't think it was for me.
I needed that approval to get by. I thought that by making others happy I would be happy. But that was just false encouragement. I didn't understand it then. I just knew I loved the praise and encouragement and all of the compliments.
With so many amazing people entering my life, many from far, I came to realize why they were there, what they meant and what I gained from them being on this journey with me.
Confidence.
You all gave me confidence. Well it was always there, camouflaged and buried behind an array of walls I had at some point in my life built up.
This post was to say thank you. Thank to every one who has encouraged me and lifted me up along the way. Pressured me to understand my worth in someway or another. Ensured me that my time was approaching and gave me strength when I didn't any of my own.
To my parents, thank you for making me into the woman I am today, flaws and all.
To my fiance, thank you for constantly telling me I am good enough.
To my sisters, I thank you all for your constant support and love.
To my children, thank you for being my driving force.
Niki, Erika, Keeya, Chelsey, Jalisa, Taji, Alyssa and Sulena, yes I had to name you all. Thank you for lighting a fire under my behind. Listening as I cried, giving me advice, well wishes, yelling at me and telling me everything would be okay.
You all helped to mold me into Rina Starr. I was my worst critic, my biggest setback.
But I am my favorite person in the world.
I am me, so thank you!