Very often I run into women that express their want and need for my services and 7 times out of 10 the conversation will end with “but girl, give me like 6 months because I need to lose…. *inserts problem area of the day*” because we all know when we look in the mirror that changes on a regular! I usually follow this up with girl please! “You look great!” “No body cares!” And some other words of encouragement about the body god has given them. It’s easy to do that and that’s what I live for. Maybe that’s because I’ve never been on the receiving end before of needing to be reassured.
She is me!
After having my first 3 children, I snapped back quick. Like no working out necessary, I was even smaller after giving birth then I was prior to getting pregnant with my third child. So I had assumed that baby number 4 would be the same and I’d be snatched with little to no effort.
My mind said we killing shit, my body said sike!
Needless to say that was not the case. Now I love me a cute photoshoot or selfie shoot in the mirror all done up to go no where but tiktok. I’ll plan a shoot, buy the clothes do my hair and makeup and once that outfit goes on… baby I be done and back in the bed. Cause the innanet is not about to get this gut!
Yes, I’m the same girl in the gym EVERYDAY flexing, at the beach in my vacation approved swimsuit confidently showcasing my curves. Screaming they gon get this natural body.
I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care!!!
But I do.
I struggled posting this. But with the encouragement of my friends I said F it!
I’m in the process of expanding in my nail business so I needed a brand photoshoot and I’ve been wanting to get some new photos done so I went all out. Hair, makeup, outfit and nails to match. If you haven’t watched the video then you missed out. Because it was a vibe, but anywho, the shoot went great! I was out there in the middle of a skatepark in a bikini. Ofcourse I brought my middle daughter along. She was my assistant, my cheerleader and she gave me the confidence boost I’m usually throwing at my clients. Let her tell it I looked like a 90s goddess (in all her freaknik rachet glory of course). So believe me I was surprised that once I started to edit the images I hated nearly all them. Not because they were bad. My stomach looked larger than normal.
It got me so emotional that I’ve been in the gym nearly everyday. 10 months postpartum and I’m bigger now with more tummy than I was just after birth. I was so discouraged and honestly I cried even more realizing that I AM HER! I gathered myself and messaged a few of my friends last night with the images and asked for their honest opinions. If I know my real friends I know they are going to speak the truth. The response was uplifting.
They pulled a me on me! Hahahaha the irony.
“Share them shits!”
Here I go… reluctantly sharing. If I’m gonna talk about it, I need to be about it right.
Bish I’m a motha!!!
A mother of 4 at that. I am just like half the women that I love and encourage on the daily. I don’t need to be hard on myself, the world does that enough for us. I don’t need to be insecure about this postpartum weight, this too shall pass. Or maybe it won’t. But it’s still me. I will still be the same person flaws and all.
I have a long way to go, but I’ve learned already not to look at the scale. And I know these photos make me think twice but I’m still a baddie.
Full figured, in my bag, Big Rina not the little one.
I write this to say, through all the struggles us as women endure. We need to embrace our true selves. Showcase our differences and instead of looking down on ourselves, admire the work our creator has put into each of us. Live in today, happily and confidently. Tomorrow is not always promised.
Turn your pain into beauty and book the shoot sis!