I've spent most of my life trying to figure out where I was headed. Trying to find my place in the middle of chaos. I was never the best student in high school. I guess I knew alot of people but I was never the most popular. That continued through my college years which were few and far in between. I started college with high hopes and after only a short month, I left feeling defeated. The need to fit in socially being my ultimate downfall. I wanted to be an Obstetrician Gynecologist and that dream was fading away, I thought my dream was over. I went home, which was all of 10 minutes from campus, feeling what I thought was my lowest. A college dropout, with no job and no goals, I was embarrassed.
Shortly after, I left home and started to make a home with my longtime boyfriend and high school sweetheart. At the age of 18, everyone thought I was crazy. But, I was in love. It began in 2002, I graduated high school in 2005 and by 2007 we had our first babygirl.
Zariah Marie Thomas, now 11 and in the 6th grade, she changed my life! I now had someone dependent on me and my actions needed to reflect that.
She was full of spunk and sass. She was my pageant girl, my model yet over time became my athlete. This girl loved to ride her bike and run. Like actually run along beside me for miles no exaggeration. lol
Once she picked up a ball, that became her life. Basketball year round and I couldn't be more excited for her. She was evolving into her own little person. With a social life more desirable than my own. When Zariah was about 3 years old, I went back to school. Lincoln Technical Institute was going to be a major change for me. I was on my way to becoming a Licensed Practical Nurse. Boy was I focused. I had a study group, I was getting all A's and It was an amazing feeling to be a caretaker in training. I was learning so many amazing things that I at one point had given up on. It wasn't the doctor role I once thought I would hold, but it was close enough. End of Mod 2, with 1 week left to move on to 3, I broke my hand and was deemed incapable of completing and performing tasks appropriately. I failed my child, the feeling was unbearable.
Years later, I decided to go back to school. I didn't know what I wanted to do, I just knew I needed to be there learning. Manchester Community College. I look back and laugh on how motivated and guided I was in my adult scholastic endeavors compared to those as a child. Zariah motivated me enough to study hard and money motivated me enough to not play any games. Once again, the high grades were rolling in. First semester back and I finished with a 4.9 GPA. In high school I had a 2.7 at best. Soon after, I became pregnant with my second child. Its in ongoing joke that my boyfriend got overly excited when I received good grades. hahahaha. I chose to take on another semester anyway. During this semester I met one of my dearest friends. I hold her so close to my heart. Mrs. Peppers Johnson. She was my business class professor. I smile writing this because she has been so amazing to me over the last nearly 8 years. She watched my belly grow in her class. Allowed me to bring my older daughter to class if I couldn't find a sitter to attend school. I even finished her final exam that semester in my labor and delivery room just an hour before delivery.
Zoey Makayla Thomas, is by far my most rambunctious child. At just 7 years old, she has the personality of 10 divas, 2 talk show host and 6 professional models. lol When I watch Zoey, I cant help but to feel as though I'm watching myself. Scary? Yes it is.
I love everything about this little girl, and she literally makes my heart melt. Her heart is gold, always hugging or kissing someone in this house. Always dancing, posing and singing, sometimes even rapping. lol She is a performer at heart, and I truly believe she will be great!
Leaving school again to raise my two girls made the decision worth it! Of course again, I felt defeated, but I was happy. Motherhood brought me so much joy. I started working in the hospital by the time I realized I was pregnant, so in a sense, I was getting closer to a goal I thought was unobtainable. I worked in transport, I worked as a CNA, a secretary, but the yearn for furthering myself educationally was still lingering. So I registered for a certification program. I did so, because I had just found out I was pregnant again with my third child. I knew physically I could not commit to a longer term program, nor did I have the resources or finances to find care for 3 children. I was going to be a Phlebotomist. Now the decision seemed very random. But in fact, it was well thought out. It was a 16 week program, and I would be able to obtain a career making more than I was currently and I could work less hours to compensate for daycare by doing so. You had me at more money! lol.
Shortly after graduating the program, I delivered my last child, my prince.
Zaiden Markell Thomas, my 5 year old son is everything I had every hoped for in a boy!
He is a master builder with his legos and has an imagination that is out of this world. One of my favorite things to do with him is to listen to him articulate how and why he built something. Its mind blowing how smart and advanced this child of mine is. One day he said to me, "mommy you need a ring!", I said "I know, tell daddy!" Could you believe weeks later, as I picked him up from his pre-k class, he is struggling to take his back pack off, I tell him to wait until we were in the car. He was so persistent, I stopped to help him and he pulled out a race car ring and said "I got this for you out of the prize box, so you could wear it everyday!" Ugh, I could have cried.
Though he can be stubborn and sometimes overly active, he completes us. He completes me. I am so in love with my ZMT crew. I realized how true it is when someone says, you haven't lived life until you have lived life with children. I can't even fathom the thought of these beautiful souls not being mine!
In my bio, which was written a few months ago. I stated that "They were the reason!" and they truly are. My reasons for pushing myself so hard to achieve my goals. No, i'm not a doctor, I don't even work in the medical field any longer. I am a "momtographer" with a passion and with 3 angels rooting for me to succeed.
This journey has been a roller coaster. With many ups and downs and setbacks. Tears, prayers and hopes. I've been through depression, at times I feel as though I'm still going through it. But ultimately, I will come out victorious degree or not.
NO ONE WILL TAKE AWAY MY SHINE BECAUSE WHAT GOD HAS FOR ME, WILL BE FOR ME!
And that my friends is My Love Story!
